A take on grumbling

I subscribe to the Church Times every week, and very much enjoy catching up on the ecclesiastical goings-on of the previous week. I particularly enjoy Canon Rosalind Brown's reflection on the Sunday readings. A couple of weeks ago, she wrote an article entitled "Tempted to Grumble?". The article focused on the negative effect that grumbling can have on us, not only in the short-term, but in the long-term, too.

Grumbling can be quite easy to get into. It sometimes feels good to have a good moan, to 'get things off one's chest'. This can, in fact, be quite important, especially as we are often told that it is not good to bottle things up, but rather to acknowledge our difficulties and frustrations and, if necessary, to tackle them. This all sounds quite positive; to talk about what's bothering us, and then, possibly, to take action to help alleviate the problems we face. Grumbling, however, is not positive. Grumbling is having a moan for its own sake, without any sense of the positivity of a problem shared. Grumbling can, over time and without one necessarily realising it, become a habit and begin to affect our very nature and attitude.

Grumbling is also different to complaining, in a sense. To be aggrieved about something, perhaps poor customer service, or unjustifiable treatment in some other way, sometimes neccesitates complaining. This serves to let those who need to know that you are not happy about something, so that, amongst other things, hopefully others will not experience the same. Complaining, if channeled in the right direction, can result in change for the better. This is different to what Canon Brown refers to as 'an attitude of complaint.' With an attitude of complaint, of which grumbling is a part, arguably very little is achieved, if anything.

So, how do we prevent ourselves from travelling the slippery slope from justifiable complaint to grumbling and developing an attitude of complaint? It can be difficult. I sometimes hear myself saying "I'm tired, I've got too much to do"; "the house looks like a tip, and I don't even know where to to start"; "I can't be bothered" and so on. It can be very easy to get into a 'woe is me' attitude, which is anything but constructive, for ourselves and for those around us.

I was talking to an elderly lady recently who has very limited mobility and needs round-the-clock care. One might expect some grumbling under these circumstances, but she does not grumble; she told me that things could be far worse, and that she counts her blessings every single day. She notices the troubles of those around her, and tries to give support where she can.

Counting our blessings and being aware of the needs of those around us seems a good place to start in avoiding an attitude of complaint, and can give us some much-needed perspective. Life can be difficult for all of us in different ways and at different times; it is how we approach these difficulties that matters, and our attitude is a very important part of this. Difficult times can be a time of growth for us and learning about ourselves, too. At this time of Lent, we remember Jesus' time in the wilderness, spending time alone with God in prayer and in fasting before the start of His ministry. Our own times of wilderness can be an opportunity to find out what God has to teach us about ourselves and, as Canon Brown writes, "God sometimes takes his people into the wilderness so that they can experience blessing."

Through joyful times and challenging times, blessings can be found, if we look for them. During the times that it is difficult to do so, trusting in God's goodness and unfailing love for us can help to carry us through such a wilderness.

It seems fitting to finish this post with the beautiful words of the hymn, "Count your Blessings":

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Refrain

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Refrain

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

J. Oatman

Celebrating the gift of books!

Today is World Book Day, and the day on which the gift of books, and reading, is celebrated worldwide. Many schools take part by giving out book tokens to each child to go towards the cost of buying a book. Some also encourage the children (and staff!) to dress up for a day, perhaps as their favourite character from a book, or as a character from a book chosen by the school.

My sons' primary school decided a few weeks ago that their theme for World Book Day was going to be The Gruffalo, Julia Donaldson's wonderful story about a mouse who uses his intelligence and quick-thinking to escape multitude dangers in the forest, including The Gruffalo himself.

This singular theme certainly provided many parents with a bit of a challenge! After much deliberating over their choice of character, searching for masks on the internet, colouring in, stapling and glueing, my boys were ready to go! Thomas (6) went as The Gruffalo, Oliver (7) dressed up as the mouse and my eldest son, Harry, aged 10, decided that he was not going to go as a character but part of the forest! He, therefore, dressed as a tree!

They looked wonderful and it was such a lovely thing to do as a family; to spend time thinking about how we were going to approach this and all muck in and help each other get the various parts of the costumes ready.

At the school gates, the boys joined their friends and delighted in the many Gruffalo-related sights to be seen! This is one of the heart-warming parts of a day such as this; the celebration of books and reading itself, but also the sense of community that comes when others join together in celebration.

Today gives the opportunity for people to celebrate their enthusiasm for books together; to think about how, once we have been given the gift of reading, there is scope to be truly inspired by others' thoughts, ideas and imagination.

Passing on the gift of reading is precious. My mother used to read to me with such enthusiasm and spent a lot of time listening to me read and encouraging me. I am sure that this had a huge impact on developing my love of reading, and I am so thankful to her for that. I am now doing my best to pass on this gift to my own children, and it is really very special to sit and read with them and see the moment when their faces light up when they realise that "I can read this myself!!"

I give thanks for books today, for those who write them, and for those who bring them alive by illustrating them. I give thanks for the gift of reading, and for those who take time and care to pass on this gift so that others may share with them the joy of reading.